Every writer has characters who come easily, the ones who show up fully formed, like they've been waiting for you to notice them. And then there are the others. The ones who resist. The ones who make you question whether you're good enough to tell their story.
In 'The Way You Say Their Name', three characters fought me the hardest. Not because they were difficult to understand. Because they were difficult to feel without breaking something in myself.
1. Lenna Sarri, The Doctor Who Learned to Stitch at Seventeen
Lenna was the first character who appeared, and the last one I understood.
She's a doctor in a basement clinic in Cangkang, the eastern side of Limina. She stitches wounds, counts supplies, and keeps a green notebook where she writes things she can't say out loud. She's been doing this since she was seventeen, because someone had to, and that someone was her.
Lenna was hard to write because she's strong in a way that isn't loud. She doesn't give speeches. She doesn't cry in front of people. She says things like "Three times. Clean edges. Don't rush" when she's teaching someone how to fold bandages, and that's her way of saying I care about you.
The hardest scene I wrote with Lenna is the one where she finally breaks. She's sitting on the ground, in front of a man who betrayed everyone she loves, and she says one word: "Please."
That word took me three days to write. Because I had to feel what it would take for a woman like Lenna, who has held everything together for eleven years, to finally let go. And when I did, I cried. Not because it was sad. Because it was true.
2. Aron Vale, The Analyst Who Thought He Could Calculate His Way Out of Love
Aron is the son of a man whose name means something terrible in Limina. He doesn't know that yet when he arrives. He comes with data, with a plan, with ten years of practiced control. He thinks he can save the people he loves by doing the math.
He was hard to write because he's me. Or at least, the version of me that thinks if I just work hard enough, plan well enough, I can protect everyone from everything. That version doesn't work. And Aron learns that the hard way.
The scene that broke me is the one where he finally says: "I missed you. Ten years. In a way that doesn't get smaller as time gets longer."
It's not poetic. It's not dramatic. It's just true. And writing it felt like admitting something I'd been avoiding for years.
3. Gama, The Traitor I Couldn't Hate
Gama is the hardest character I've ever written. Not because he's complex. Because he's human.
He's a commander in the resistance. He's also been feeding information to the enemy for six years. He's not a monster. He's a man who made one small compromise, just schedules, and then another, and another, until he couldn't remember what it felt like to be clean.
I tried to hate him. I really did. But then I wrote the scene where he's walking through the city after everything falls apart, and he takes out a small notebook, the one with twenty-three names in handwriting that isn't his, and he leaves it on the ground.
He doesn't burn it. He doesn't tear it up. He just lets it go.
And I realized: he's not a villain. He's a warning. He's what happens when you keep choosing the wrong thing because you're too afraid to choose the right one. He's what happens when you forget that almost isn't enough.
I couldn't hate Gama. But I couldn't save him either. And that's the point.
Why These Three?
Because they're all trying to do the right thing. And they all fail in different ways. Lenna fails by holding on too tight. Aron fails by thinking he can control everything. Gama fails by thinking he can save himself without saving anyone else.
They're not heroes. They're not villains. They're people. And that's what makes them hard to write. Because you can't hide behind archetypes. You have to feel them. And feeling them means feeling your own failures too.
Question :
Which character in a novel has made you feel the most uncomfortable, not because they were evil, but because they reminded you of something in yourself?
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